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Incognito
Incognito Investigates
Reporting from the front line can be
very dangerous, especially for a bear. There are hidden dangers and
jealously guarded secrets to expose when you are an investigative
bear like myself. With all the slamming of doors, the shouting and
dire warning uttered around here over the past few days even poking
your head out for a short while could be an invitation to trouble.
But don't hang around there, come with me and have a look in here.
Be careful where you tread. The floor
is really mucky and there are some sticky patches where coke cola has
been spilt. Well I think, hope, it's coke anyway.
The house has been relatively quiet for
the past day as brat girl, with bob in tow, has gone to visit
relatives, leaving the problem parents to their own devices. As it's
been a while since I've shown you around I thought this would be a
good opportunity to see how things have progressed.
As you can see, nothing much has
changed. Brat girl is still a slob. Look at the mess here. I can't
remember the last time that bin was emptied. I'm being very brave
resting my foot on this table. It is filthy and sticky, it'll take me
ages to lick my paw clean later.
If you look under the bed, which is a
bit of a tight squeeze with all the detritus under here, you can see
that brat girl hasn't stopped smoking in her room, despite the
problem parents continue protestations and warnings. I think she's
well and truly addicted to the little white sticks.
Hello, what's this?
I'm not sure if I approve of this and
it wouldn't surprise me if brat girl doesn't get a row from the
problem parents when she gets home over it.
So there you go. I wish I could paint a
better picture of the girl. After all we have been friends and
companions now for over 16 years.
Oh, I hear the front door being
unlocked downstairs, the problem parents must be back from their
shopping trip. I'd better get back on the shelf.
I'm out of here. Bye.
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Have you seen her, tell me have you seen her?
THEY'VE ARRIVED! Well some of them at
least.
Have you seen her? ...
Belgrita
Ahhh!!
Isn't she lovely?
Seeing her there – her profile, her
lovely pink fur, her deepest black orange eyes and strawberry nose - isn't
she gorgeous?
I have to admit that I got 'so hot
under the collar' that I had to go and take a bit of fresh air in the
garden.
Sitting there contemplating her beauty
I began to worry about whether a bear like me could have
anything to offer a vibrant young grito like Belgrita? How would we
be viewed bear and grito walking hand-in-hand down the street? Would
she even agree to be seen with such a plain shy bear as me?
Is a bear ~ grito relationship a love
that dare not speak its name?
I'm afraid, as brat girl gets
increasingly older, that I'll be left of the shelf. A bear with
little purpose other than to gather dust. But seeing the beautiful
Belgrita has filled me with hope and longing.
I suppose I can comfort myself with the
knowledge that the problem parents will always have a place for me to
roam, free from the dangers of small children and jumble bags.
They allow me to wander the house and
garden freely. I like to sit up by the pond watching the toads and
frogs – though I am a bit scared of the mad cat that likes to
pounce and the magpies that come and bathe in the water.
I wonder what Belgrita is doing now?
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Are they here yet? I'm so excited I can
hardly bear to look.
I've heard the humans murmuring about
the the army of the twelve gritos. What is going on? What are they
planning? How much does my good friend Negrito know about all this
skulduggery? There are
clues scattered all over the web.
Will they come marching down the
street? I do like a parade.
I can't see anything from my window.
I'm sure all will become clear soon.
I'm so excited. I'm so frustrated. I
can't wait.
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Incognito and the great outdoors
Dear Negrito,
Hello my friend (again with the
familiarity) I hope you are well.
I have been contemplating my future since I
last wrote to you. As you may be aware I have just celebrated 16 years of
living with the brat girl, a long time even for a bear.
Whilst exiled to the shelf I contemplated whether
my future would be inextricably linked to that of brat girl’s. If the past is a
foreign country then what about the future? Is there any future for a house
bound bear like me?
“What are those little boxes?”
Looking out of brat girl's window I thought
about what I could possibly do, other than be a familiar. I have limited skills,
I have no knowledge of what it’s like out there in the cold and rain. I wouldn’t
know where to go. I have heard that many ‘stray’ toys end up in ‘charity’
shops, some are even unfortunate enough to be admitted to Teddy Hospitals (I’ve
had a few stitches in my time but fortunately I’ve never had to be admitted to
one of those) and, you won’t believe this but I’m sure it is true, some have
been discarded with the rubbish.
Having reflected on what it is to be a
bear, to have devoted 16 years of your life to the development of a young
human, I thought I’d explore what it is like ‘out there’. This wasn’t an easy
decision, I have watched with envy as you have reported from the world of
humans, but inspired by your intrepidness I plucked up the courage earlier
today to adventure beyond the front door.
I waited until the house was quiet (you
know how these humans get a bit freaky when they see us bears being animated)
and danced down the stairs, through the front door and crossed the threshold
to the ‘outside’.
A stair bear
Let me tell you it may have been sunny but
it was cold!
The horror, the horror…
I made my way to the end of the garden path
and looked out of the gate. From here I watched the world go by. A car came
past, not very fast but fast enough. I have to admit it scared me. The fumes! Brat
girl's bedroom can be pretty stinky in the morning, especially when she has had
her friends to stay the night, but this smelt of rotten eggs. It was horrible.
Also, nothing had prepared me for the noise. Cars, women’s pointy heals as they
clicked along the pavement and worst of all a dog, which with it’s owner walked
along the path, sniffed me and then began to bark. For no reason!!!
I have to admit that at this point I
panicked. The ‘great outdoors’ is not a place for me. Just a few steps into the world
of humans and my bear heart was all of a flutter. I ran back into the house and
quickly as I could.
“It’s difficult running up
stairs.” Don’t try this at home
I have, therefore, decided that there is ‘no
place like home’ and will from now on cherish those around me and the life that
I lead.
“Now where did I put those
red slippers?”
I have enjoyed telling you of my adventures,
I hope to read of yours again soon.
Until the next time…
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Incognito does the boudoir ~ pt. 2
Dear Negrito,
Hello, it’s me, Incognito. Please excuse
the delay in writing to you, I have been ‘unavoidably detained’. When brat girl
found out about my last despatch she was so furious that I was exiled to under
the bed for five days. This is the cost a bear has to pay for being a fearless
reporter of the truth.
A stoical bear taking his punishment
I was rescued by the problem parents, who
had no idea of my harsh treatment, until one of them was searching for missing
slipper. After careful negotiations I
have been allowed to spend the rest of my punishment on the shelf. This at
least affords me a view of the rest of the room, rather than the fleeting
glimpse of feet I had become accustomed to.
I have a long shelf life, please don’t worry.
I have, cheekily, sneaked down from the
shelf to report to your royal highness. I understand that as King of the
Gritos you have empathy and concern for all bears, however, I hope that you
will not think too harshly of brat girl. She is afflicted with teenage hormones
and, if I am honest, rather peculiar parents.
I will report again soon…
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Incognito does the boudoir ~ pt.1
Dear Negrito,
First I'll start by apologising
for being so familiar with you, your highness.
I have read your words many times and feel like I know you. I am
incognito. Here’s a picture of me, so
that you may recognise me if our paths cross.
This
is me - Incognito
My family told me about your
competition and have encouraged me to enter.
They have given me this corner of their blog in which to post my
explorations. They have kindly agreed to
write you a message when I have posted a new entry.
As you always demonstrate, a good
blog has a definite subject matter and is consistent in style. My intention, over the coming weeks, is to
report from brat girl’s boudoir, which is my main residence. As you will see, it is unfortunate that it is
not in my control.
Yes,
that really is three day old pizza
I have lived with brat girl since
she was a week old. We are very good friends. We used to be inseparable, but these days she
disappears for days on end only coming to our domain to lay in darkness, watch
TV and sleep.
My brat girl is in a period of
flux, misunderstood by the problem parents and friends alike. Sometimes she tells me that it is only
Orlando and I that really understand.
We
understand where others do not
Somethings I do not understand. Like why
all the make up on her pretty face? And
is it not supposed to be put in a bag?
As you can see, my brat girl likes her make up, but there is no
containment:
She
has very may different colours, for eyes, lips, cheeks and nails
I hope to write to you in the
near future your highness, with further investigations.
Until then …
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