One Act Play Prologue Brat girl has for months been saving up to go on holiday with bob and his parents. A few weeks ago bob broke his leg on a building site and has been told by his doctor that he can't go on holiday because his leg is still in a cast and it's too dangerous to fly. Act 1 Txt from brat girl: “Hi dad, i mite b stoppin at bobs 2nite n im goin away 4 the weekend i wl b ome on monde mornin but im stoppin at bobs threw week. Luv u x” Txt from crap dad to brat girl: “Don't u think u should have talked to us? Effectively we aren't going to see from today for a week, if not more if u disappear for next weekend too.” Txt from brat girl to crap dad: “Sorry i ment t say but i 4got. Bob wil b on his own nxt week. Xxx” Txt from crap dad to brat girl: “Aaaah, poor bob. U knew what u were going to do and decided not to tell us. Forgot my arse!” Txt from brat girl to crap dad: “I cud be in tenerif tom bobs mom is al packed n getting redi n me and bob r sat ere watchin the bill” Epilogue Evil stepmother to crap dad, “It was obvious that she was going to take every opportunity to stay at bob's whilst his parents were away. I just don't understand why she wasn't honest with us and say something... Er, well... I suppose I do. She knew we would put some conditions on it, like keeping in touch or even coming home once in a while. It really frustrates me that its always about her, she always has to get her own way, there's never any consideration for anyone else. If she wants to do it she's going to do it and sod what anyone else says.”

6.5.06 08:45 Permalink / 8 Comments / comment

Wishy-washy 10 days ago: “I'm not doing her washing any more” announces evil stepmother. “I won't wash the bl***y clothes of someone who's telling me I have nothing to do with their life. If what she does is non of my business, then so's her bl***y washing.” Today "Oh ... Is that why I 'ad to wear the same trousers three days in a row last week?" asks brat girl "I wondered why I coun't find owt clean."

20.2.06 22:31 Permalink / 6 Comments / comment

Street Fighting Girl “Does mi nose look broken?” asks brat girl. “What?” replies crap dad. “Does mi nose look broken? Is it still straight? Is it bruised?” “No. Why?” “This lass were 'avin a go at mi mate and I stuck up fer er. She right laid inta mi. I shouldn't a stuck mi nose in.”

7.1.06 17:39 Permalink / 1 Comment / comment

Disappointment Friday 30th December The problem parents are away for the day visiting members of evil stepmothers family. Bring, Bring. “Hiya” begins brat girl “I thought I'd cook tea. What time do you think you'll be home?” “I don't know, about six I suppose” responds evil stepmother. “Ok. Text mi when you're about to set off and I'll get the dinner on” says an up-beat brat girl. “What are you thinking of cooking?” enquires evil stepmother. “I dunno maybe something with the veggie sausage mix or perhaps a spaghetti bolognese with the quorn mince” “Sounds lovely. Thanks love. See you later” says evil stepmother as you hangs up. Turing to crap dad she states, “she's going to cook for us. I wonder what she wants?” “She must be after something” crap dad concurs. One of evil stepmother's sisters offers to give the problems parents a lift home and they forget to text brat girl. As they arrive home they notice that all the lights are on. Evil stepmother tries the door and it is locked, with the keys on the inside. She rings the door bell and bangs on the door. Peering through the door she notices a large pair of Nike trainers. She sees brat girl hurrying down the stairs. As brat girl reaches the bottom she too notices the trainers. She picks them up and turns to go back up stairs. “It's too late brat girl. I've seen them. You might as well come and open the door” says evil stepmother through the door. CAUGHT! As the problem parents unwrap themselves from their winter clothing and unpack the few essentials they'd picked up from the supermarket, bob the builder makes his way gingerly down the stairs. Evil stepmother spots him and starts to move towards him. Brat girl makes a vain attempt to get in between evil stepmother and bob. As she approaches bob the air bristles with tension. “Bob! We have made it clear to brat girl that you are not welcome in this house until you have the courtesy to come to talk to crap dad and me. Until we make clear what we expect from you in the future, you are not to come into this house. Is that clear to you?” “Yes” he manages as he practically sprints from the house.

31.12.05 13:42 Permalink / 3 Comments / comment

No you can't have any money. “I ####### hate you. You do my ####### 'ead in. ###### #######. When I get a ####### job I'm ###### outta here. You pair of ###### ###### ######.” *slam* *bang* *bang* *bang* “###### ###### ###### ##### #### #########!”

20.10.05 18:15 Permalink / 11 Comments / comment

Groundhog day Sunday - 5.30pm "Mom, can I have a pound?" "Where's your MP3 player?" "It's at so-and -so's. I told ya". "I told you - no money till we see it." ... *Slam*

5.6.05 23:05 Permalink / 4 Comments / comment

Missing, presumed ....? 16 weeks ago brat girl gets an MP3 player for her 16th birthday. 10 weeks ago crap dad and evil stepmother confer and realise that neither have seen it for a few weeks. “Where's your MP3 player?” they ask brat girl. “Oh it's at so-and-so's, I'll get it back at the weekend” she replies. 6 weeks ago there is still no sign of it. “Where's your MP3 player?” they ask brat girl again. “I told ya, it's at so-and-so's, I'll get it back.” she insists. “Well I want to see it before your exams start in three weeks.” says crap dad. 1 week ago there is still no sign of it. “Where is your MP3 player?” brat girl is asked yet again. “Ya know where it is, I'll have it by the weekend.” she promises. 2 days ago there is still no sign of it, though so-and-so is staying the night. “Where is your MP3 player?” she is asked once more. “We're on our way to get it now” comes the impatient reply. When the girls return later with 'munchies' but no MP3 player crap dad snaps. “Right, you get no more money off me until I see that MP3 player. Understood?” 5.30pm, today. “Can I have some money to go to cinema wi' bob please dad?” brat girl asks within minutes of crap dad getting home from work. “Where's your MP3 player?” she is asked. The house shook as brat girl slammed the door, leaving for bob's penniless.

3.6.05 18:53 Permalink / 1 Comment / comment

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